Edward's love for bella
by Lindsay teamedward
Summary: Decided to continue...Takes place during Eclipse. An alternate proposal and all of Edward's confused thoughts leading up to it. Better that the summary. Read and Reveiw. First Fan fic.
1. Edward's epiphany

**I decided to continue it. Still my first fan fiction. Takes place during the time of Eclipse before Bella has agreed to marry Edward. It's the period of time before Edward has even suggested getting married. Bella has decided she wants to be changed and has asked Carlisle to do it. The date is set. Edward has not given Bella the option to have him change her, though she has mentioned it. This story is about Edward's point of veiw and an alternate proposal scene.**

Edwards POV

I ran through the woods as fast as I could go. Oh why did I have to go hunting? I hated not being able to be with my love. I hated every second I spent away from her. I had just gotten back from my two day hunting trip with my brothers. I had taken off immediately to go see Bella.

I finally reached her house but I didn't break my pace. I jumped up to Bella's window knowing that the neighbors wouldn't be able to see me. I swiftly opened the window and jumped inside landing lightly on my feet. After I closed the window I turned to look at my beloved Bella. She was sitting up in bed looking at me with her dazzling smile. She didn't realize how often she dazzled me. I just stood there taking in all her beauty.

"Hi," she said. Her voice made me melt. Oh how much I had missed her.

"Hi." I said back. I went to her side and took her into my arms. She sighed in content and I lowered us until her head landed softly on the pillow.

"Did you miss me?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Love, I always miss you. Every time you are not in my arms I feel empty. Evey time I cannot feel your warm skin against me I ache." I could see her smile in the dark.

"You could have just said yes." She whispered. It was just like her to be embarrassed. I ran my finger along her rosy cheek.

"If I just said yes, I would be lieing." I responded. She didn't reply. She pushed her body closer to mine. Reaching her head up, she brought her lips to mine. I responded gently, not wanting to cross the boundaries I had made.

"Edward?" She said as she pulled her lips away.

"Yes love?" She ducked her head against my chest. I brought my head down to her head and lightly kissed it.

"What is it?" I whispered. She looked up into my eyes. I returned the gaze. Her beautiful brown eyes looked at my longingly. I brought my lips to hers and she respond letting out a long sigh. I chuckled but I pulled her closer to me. She brought her hands up, combing them through my hair. I began to get lost in the kiss. I had to stay in control. I felt her body tense as I broke from the kiss. I chuckled as she reached for another kiss.

"Sleep love." I said. She shook her head and again reached up to stroke my hair.

"You're pushing my self-control." I said pushing her gently against the bed. She realized that it was merely a statement not a refusal and lifted her lips up to mine. I eagerly kissed back, surprising both of us. I let my hands run through her soft hair. I pulled away and we both gasped for air. I continued kiss along her jaw line before letting out a sigh.

"It's late love." I began to sing her lullaby but she shook her head no.

"Bella please."

"Edward.." She whimpered.

"Bella, I could kill you. Do you not understand that?" I said. My tone came out harsher than I had intended. I quickly grazed my hand along her cheek trying to undo the pain I may have caused her.

"This is not a rejection. You know that I want to too. But if I hurt you..." I trailed off. It was to horrible to imagine.

"But you won't." She said.

"I could though Bella! You are my life. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ever hurt you. You are my love, the only thing there is to live for. I will love you for the rest of my existence. I cannot do anything that might...hurt you." I whispered.

She really was my everything. The reason the sun rose and the moon shone. The only reason I could manage to live forever. Before her my life was dark but she came into it shining like the sun. I couldn't, no i wouldn't hurt her. I would do everything in my power to keep her safe.


	2. Edward is deep in thought

Edwards POV

Bella didn't have more to say, so I felt her heart beat slowing beside me. I started to hum her lullaby and she sighed in content. Finally she was asleep for the night. I had awhile before she started to talk in her sleep, I never missed that, it let me into her mind and I valued that since I couldn't read her mind.

My own mind began to wander. All I could think about was what I had told Bella, what I had been telling her for so long. We couldn't have sex… could we? I didn't know if I had that kind of control. Bella my love! She just kept tempting me! I would never hurt her, and there was such a great chance that if I gave into my desires, and hers, I would hurt her terribly. It brought my mind to another time I had hurt her so much; the time I had left her. My arms automatically tightened around her. I would never let her go ever again. I had promised myself I would protect her though! I shook my head fiercely trying to get the thoughts out of my head. Why did things have to be so complicated! If only she was….

I let out a low fierce growl. No, I would not take away her soul away! I would not damn her!

I let out another growl and jumped quickly away from the bed. Bella stirred but she remained asleep. I couldn't stay around her when I was feeling so torn. I headed to the window but stopped in my tracks,

"Edward…" Bella whispered. I turned on my heels. The sleep talking had begun.

"Edward….please…" She kept saying. It made me nervous. What was I refusing to do? I would do almost anything for her.

"I love you with my whole heart! Do you not understand!?" She whimpered. This was different than the usually mumbling I heard in the night. Tonight she sounded upset and frantic.

"Edward! No don't leave me!" She suddenly sat up in bed, tears streaming down her face.

"Bella!" I flew to her side, "Bella, I'm here." I cradled her in my arms.

"Oh Edward! It was awful.." She put her head against my chest and continued to cry.

"I will never leave you.." I trailed off. After every confusing thought I had tonight, I knew that this one stood true. I would never leave my dear Bella. She was my life know and I was here as long as she wanted me. But I had to keep her safe. She wanted to be a vampire, but could I ever really do that to her? If I did what would I need in return. I held back a growl. I didn't like how easily I had given up.

What could I do?

**Ideas? haha just post some in the reveiws:D**


	3. Bella's dream

The third chapter

The third chapter! I am open to ideas and suggestions!

Edwards POV

Bella lay wrapped in my arms, breathing heavily. She had stopped sobbing but she was still quite upset.

"Bella, what was your dream about?" I asked gently when I was sure she was a bit calmer.

"Well…" she paused as a few tears dropped from her eyes. I quickly wiped them away. I hated seeing her so upset.

"We were in the meadow and we were talking. At first I couldn't hear what we were talking about, but eventually our voices became louder. We were arguing about…well about us I guess. You were threatening to leave me again…." She cringed at the thought.

"Bella I wouldn't…" she held a finger up to my lips.

"Shh…I know. I think it had to do with our fight and about my being… changed." She hung her head and fidgeted with my hand.

"I'm sorry Bella. I wish there was some way to show you how I feel, but I can only tell you. You are the most important thing to me now and you always will be. I can't do anything that could hurt you in any way possible. You have to understand. For me to change you…I don't think I would ever be able to live with myself no matter how much you thanked me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself because of the things I prevented you from doing…" I trailed off as she gave my hand a tight squeeze.

"Edward I understand. But how can you make me live knowing that when I die I'll be leaving you behind. How can I live with you for a human lifetime when I have the option of spending forever with you? There is only one human experience I want to have before I am changed and you know that. You also know how much I want you to change me. I wish there was some way you could understand my feelings, some way that you would change me yourself." She sighed.

"I… I don't know what to say Bella. If there was some way I could get around all I would be making you give up…. If there was some…compromise. I don't know what to do Bella.." I was shocked at how honest I was being with her. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. I had to be careful because I couldn't let her know how selfish I really was. How much I wanted to spend FOREVER with her. I loved Bella with all of my being. Was there anything I could do to help her experience everything she could before I gave in?

I looked up and stared into Bella's eyes. She seemed to want this so bad but she didn't understand the sacrifice.

"I need to go home." I whispered.

"Ok. Come by later?" She asked softly.

"Before you wake up again." I said. I leaned in and gently stroked her cheek before heading out the window and running home. I needed to talk to Carlisle.


	4. Carlisle's thought

**Takes place during the time of Eclipse before Bella has agreed to marry Edward. It's the period of time before Edward has even suggested getting married. Bella has decided she wants to be changed and has asked Carlisle to do it. The date is set. Edward has not given Bella the option to have him change her, though she has mentioned it. This story is about Edward's point of veiw and an alternate proposal scene.**

Edwards POV

I raced back home with a feeling of dread towards the conversation I was about to have with Carlisle.

I slowed down when I entered the backyard. I loped swiftly into the house and into Carlisles office. He didn't aknowledge my entrance, out loud that is.

_Edward. Is something wrong? _He asked me in his thoughts.

"Yes." I said. Then he looked up with concern clearly marked in his eyes.

"Is it Bella?" He asked softly. There really wasn't any point. Everybody in the house could here us talking. This was not a private area with so many Vampires around.

"Would you like to join me for a walk?" I asked stiffly.

_Of course._ He strode out of the room and I followed.

A feeling of calm washed over me as we entered the living room. I turned and saw Jasper seated on the couch with Alice in his lap.

_Are you ok? You feel...scared._ Jasper thought to me.

"I'm fine." I replied.

_I told you this conversation was going to happen._ Alice thought. It was true, she had warned me. I had refused to think I would ever talk to Carlisle about this.

I swept pass Carlisle and out the door. I couldn't stand the sympathetic thoughts my family was having.

Carlisle and I took off. We ran until we couldn't hear Rosalie on the piano any longer.

We slowed to a walk. Carlisle made no show of impaietnce.

"The answer is yes, it is about Bella." I whispered.

He stopped short. _Is she ok?_

"She is fine. I'm sure you already know what this is about though." I snarled.

He didn't seem taken back by my out burst. _Alice may have mentioned something. However I chose to have the conversation with you instead of hearing how it would go._

"Thank you." I paused uncomfortably.

"Bella wants me to change her."

"Well thats no surprise." He said.

"How can I though!?" I roared. Birds in the trees above quickly took off. They knew I was a preditor they should run from. I snarled again.

_This was bound to come up, you had to know that._

I walked to a small puddle, ignoring Carlisle's thought. I looked down at the distorted reflection the puddle showed. I was a monster.

_Edward. _I turned to face him.

_How can I help you._

"I'm scared. How..." I didn't know what to say. Just like at Bella's I was utterly confused.

"The truth is...I want her forever..." I muttered.

_As you should._

"But I feel like I am giving in! There are so many things she has to experience.." His thoughts cut me off.

_She has to experience? Like what._

"Like college! Like... marriage.. children!"

_Who says she wants those things?_

"I don't know what to do." I fell to my knees on the forest floor.

"Stop looking at yourself as a monster. The only experience Bella wants is to be with you forever. Tell her you want something in return for changeing her. One last human experience." Carlisle said.

I looked up. There was a twinkle in his eye.

_Ask her to marry you._

**I hope you liked it! Chapter 5 will be posted as soon as I get some more reviews! Feel free to post ideas.**


	5. Carlisle's opinion

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

EPOV

"What?" I asked stunned, "How will that help?"

_Edward, you say you want her to experience more human events. Marriage is something that we have always treasured. She has already asked me to change her, you know that we plan on doing it after graduation. You know that I would refuse to do it if you asked me to. Edward, deep down I know you want her to be changed. _

I cringed.

"Edward," he placed his hand on my back. "You can't hate yourself for that. Your love for her is too strong. You've given up so much, fought who you really are, just to be with her. You deserve to have her forever. You deserve to be able to hold her without the fear of breaking her."

If I could cry I would be crying now. Instead I felt the pain deep inside me that was triggered whenever I wanted to cry. Carlisle seemed to know what I wanted, why didn't I?

_At first Bella won't understand why marriage is what you want. Someday though, someday she will understand what it means. The true meaning of marriage that we have learned from living for so long. I know this is hard for you, I was faced with this problem every time I changed one of you. I do not regret it though._

I looked up at his face. It was composed but his eyes held so much love and sympathy for me.

"I can't believe how confused I am." I stated simply.

_I know._

The presence of his mind began to fade as he ran swiftly away. He meant well, but I couldn't be alone now. I didn't want to think about this anymore!

_Edward?_

Alice's mind spoke out to me. I sighed, of course she would know I didn't want to be alone.

_I know you may not have been hoping for me._

"No, it's fine."

_Graduation isn't for another couple months. You don't have to worry about it now._

I nodded. What else was there to think about though?

_Esme is worried. Please come home._

I stood up and walked to her side. I touched her cheek softly.

"Thank you." I whispered.

_Of course._

We ran back to the house. Alice was able to keep up with me easily, I wasn't running all that fast. We still arrived at the house in mere seconds. Alice loped inside and returned to Jasper on the couch. I looked up to the sky, it was filled with stars. The moon shone brightly and the sky went on forever. It would still be awhile before Bella woke. I needed some way to distract myself.

_Hey, you ok?_

Emmet's rough voice was apparent in his thoughts.

"I'm...bad." I said, there was no reason to lie. "What's wrong with you?"

_Is it that obvious? _He sighed. _Rosalie is upset that you are even allowing Carlisle to change Bella, let alone considering to do it yourself._

I let out a low growl that I knew Rosalie would be able to hear from her bedroom.

"She means well." Emmet concluded, more for Rosalie's sake then mine.

"Distract me." I snarled.

Emmet look confused, but only for a moment. He seemed to understand that I was done thinking about bella being changed.

Jasper walked out of the house, fast for a human, but still slow for a vampire. It was his way of giving me a choice. I knew that if he came to close to me my emotions would be too strong and he would calm me down.

_Can I help?_ He asked. I nodded and a wave of calm swept over me.

Jasper and Emmet now sat on either side of me, there thoughts searching for some way to distract me. Emmet's thoughts were more creative and fun, but Jasper's thoughts were more helpful and safe.

"That one." I said quickly. They both turned to me, confused.

I faced Emmet, a smile forming on my lips. "That idea you just got. Care to explain?"

**Leave some reveiws please!! I need ideas on what emmet's thought is!!**


	6. Emmett's idea

E POV

"Are you sure?" Emmett said. I could hear the fear in his mind.

_It was just a quick thought. I honestly didn't mean for you to see it._

He was backpedalling, which only made this so much better.

"Yes, but it is such a grand idea." I teased. Jasper looked at me quizzically, feeling the excitement rush through my body.

"It will get my mind off Bella," I paused and spat out the rest of my sentence," and it will get her off my back."

_Care to explain? I don't mean to pry but your sudden change in emotion is startling me._

"It's nothing Jasper, just a simple distraction." I hopped up, at a speed no human would be able to see, and took off for the forest.

"Shall we?" Emmett said behind me.

_When you said "her", you better not have been referring to Alice._ Jasper's thoughts warned me. I just laughed and sped up. I could hear them running behind me. Emmett could be a pain sometimes, but he was smart when he wanted to be.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Oh my god. She is going to kill me. She is going to rip me into pieces and light me on fire. Or maybe she won't have enough patience for fire. Maybe she will be the one to come up with an alternate way of killing vampires._

Emmett was rambling. I knew it wasn't long before he would think of backing out.

We were far outside the range of any of our family members hearing us, though it was ineffective with Alice. The moment I latched onto Emmett's idea she saw it in a vision. She was now perched in a small tree waiting to hear my idea, actually Emmett's idea; which she already knew, of course.

"So, what this big idea?" Jasper asked. He gracefully hopped up onto a branch next to Alice. They both looked down at me expectantly.

"Well....." I began.

_Maybe I can escape now. I'll fly to Mexico... or Australia! I hear sharks are quite tasty._

"Emmett! Would you please stop thinking about sharks! If you want to back out then just leave." I sneered.

Emmett caught onto my tone and quickly joined the others in front of me.

_I never back down from a good prank, Edward. _ He hissed back to me in his mind.

Alice and Jasper were still reeling from the shark comment.

"As I was saying, Emmett came up with a great idea. Rosalie has been quite aggravating about the 'Bella' situation. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is annoyed."

Jasper let the shark comment go and listened intently.

"In fact, just the other day she refused to go shopping with me because I was in support of Bella's change." Alice volunteered.

"Exactly, Rosalie needs to be put in her place. While I know this effects all of you, Rosalie should trust the decision I make. She should trust the decision Carlisle makes."

"Amen my brother." Jasper said. He raised his hand and solluted to me. I could tell my excitement was affecting him.

"I would appreciate if none of you told Bella. As far as she knows Rosalie's hostility has calmed down. She just doesn't realize that it is now aimed at us.

"She won't find out." Alice said. Her vision flooded my mind as I saw Bella sitting on the couch reading. As far as she knew I was out hunting. The vision then blurred, because we didn't know what are plan involved.

"Thank you. Your vision also reminds me that none of us have any idea how to...." I looked for the right word. "Well prank is as good a word as any. None of us know what this prank contains."

Everybody went into deep thought. I scrummaged through their ideas while coming up with my own. Nothing seemed to fit. As we flipped through every idea we could think of, the sky started to lighten.

_She will wake in 20 minutes. We will keep brainstorming._

"Thank you." I said. Emmett and Jasper looked to the sky and thought in unison,

_Bella?_

I laughed but replied, "Yes, keep thinking." Then I took off running. They probably thought I was crazy for laughing about the person that had just earlier been overwhelming me. This laugh was a joyful one though. I couldn't believe how happy I was to be returning to her. It was so odd. It suddenly didn't matter what else was going on. I didn't care what Rosalie did. All I wanted was to have Bella back in my arms. To come home to the only being I would ever love. Because my home was where ever Bella was.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

It suddenly dawned on me.

Marriage.

Our one human connection to how much we loved someone.

Our one way of showing that our love is human; that we aren't monsters.

That's what marriage was to us, to my family. The reason why Alice and Jasper, Emmettt and Rosalie, and Carlisle and Esme remarried so much.

It was one connection to the outside world. A connection to human feelings.

I would love Bella forever; I wanted her forever.


	7. Spring fever

**I thought I would give you guys another chapter for new years. Happy Holidays!**

E POV

With my new understanding of my feelings towards Bella and marriage, I raced back to her in record time. I flew up the side of her house and launched myself into her room. I landed quietly beside her bed and made my way to the rocking chair in the corner. I rocked gently back and forth; absentmindedly humming Bella's lullaby. Of course Alice was right; I was seated for less than 20 minutes when Bella began to stir. As she started to wake up, her hands searched the bed for mine. I rose quietly and strode to her bed. Leaning over the edge of the bed, I let my lips find hers. Once our lips met her eyes flew open and she jumped. I laughed.

"You surprised me," she said against my lips.

"Oops." I lowered myself don next to her and continued to kiss her softly. Her lips were a perfect fit with mine; it took all my strengh to tear my face away. "What's today's agenda?"

She frowned at me, obviously upset that I had broken the kiss. A smile formed on her lips.

"Lets go to your house." She said happily. I laughed again.

"We have school today Bella."

"Damnit." She muttered.

"I was asking about after school. Do you have to work?" I repositioned myself as Bella crawled into my lap.

"No. I..." I placed a finger to her mouth.

"Hold on." I mouthed to her. She nodded and removed herself from my lap. I quickly got up and walked over to Bella's closet. I turned to wink at her and then hid inside it. I could hear her soft giggles from across the room as if she was giggling in my ear.

It was less than a minute later when Charli entered the room.

"Oh. Uh good morning. I was just checking that you were up." He said.

Bella nodded.

"Good. Well, I just wanted to remind you that it is Spring fever day at school. I hope you're prepared." Charli started to laugh.

"I got it covered dad, thanks." Charli turned and exited the room. I quietly left the closet and joined Bella on the bed.

"What a stupid idea. Spring fever..." She muttered.

Spring fever day was an idea the girls at school had come up with. It was a way for them to boast their popularity. The school provided different colored flowers for the students to buy. There were pink flowers that a 'I like you'. There were red love flowers and blue friendship flowers. There were other colors that represented other things. The idea was that students would buy different flowers and send them to other students during home room.

"Are you worried about how many flowers you'll get?" I teased.

"No. Are you?"

I frowned. I was worried about that. I was worried I would get too many flowers that would make Bella uncomfortable.

"A little." I winked at her to let her know not to worry.

"I'm sure Rosalie enjoys this day." Bella remarked.

"Ya she..." I stopped talking, leaving my mouth wide opened. That was it, the way to get to Rosalie. Just then my phone started to ring quietly. I held up one finger to Bella. She nodded and got up to get ready for school.

"Hello." I said into the phone.

"It's perfect." Alice replied. I wasn't surprised that she had called me.

"So it's decided?" Her musical laughter filled the phone.

"Yes Edward, you have already decided that it is the perfect prank. Originally you didn't want to do a prank at school, that's why I saw Bella reading at home. Now I see her embarrassed in home room. How many flowers are there?" She asked incredulus.

"One hundred." She laughed again.

"There are one hundred and twenty in my vision." I let out a low growl.

"Relax Edward, it's harmless. Most of them are just from her friends and me of course. Though Mike did give her a few."

"Alice, you'll take care of this right?"

"If your referring to the prank then yes."

"Ofcourse I am." I snapped.

"Consider it done. Just make sure your in homeroom to see it all play out."

"Make sure you get Emmet's too."

She laughed. "He really should have backed out."

"See you soon." I hung up the phone and returned it to my pocket. Bella walked back in; now ready for school.

"Is everything ok?" She asked, worry lining her face.

"Everything is fine." I assured her. "Lets get this over with." I turned and jumped threw the window landing lightly on the ground. I ran for a mile untill I found my car hidden in the trees. Time to go pick up Bella.


	8. Pick up

E POV

_Edward is here. I wonder how many flowers he got Bella. He better have gotten her some._

I scoffed at the thoughts rolling through Charli's head as I pulled up to the house. I would never miss a chance to show Bella and everybody else how much I loved her.

I walked up to the door and knocked swiftly.

"Edward." Charli nodded as he pulled open the door.

"Hello Charli. Is Bella ready?" I asked. I knew the answer though. I had seen her just minutes before.

"Yes, she is on her way down. Come on in." Charli held the door open wider for me just as Bella trotted down the stairs; slowing at the end so she didn't trip. She was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and a pear of jeans. The outfit made her stand out to me as if she was the only thing in the world, because to me she was. It didn't matter what she wore. However, I knew Alice would be upset with Bella's appearance on a day like this. Bella blushed when she saw me taking in her beauty.

"Let's go!" Bella exclaimed, "Bye Charli." Bella walked pass me, eager to get going.

"Excited for school?" Charli remarked.

"It should be an interesting day." I commented.

"Afraid you won't get any flowers?" Charli teased.

"No sir." I said with a wink. Charli didn't say anything for a minute.

_That boy..I just don't know..._

FInally he spoke up.

"Yes well, have fun." With that he closed the door.

"Edward, is something wrong?" Bella said walking up behind me.

"No." I turned to face her, "He just doesn't trust me." I let the sadness leak into my eyes.

"Edward..." Bella tried to comfort me, "There is nothing you can do. You can't change the past."

"It's hard...how much everything was affected. Nothing will ever be the same." My chest ached at the memmory of leaving Bella.

I felt her warm hands intertwine with mine.

"You're right. I love you more now because of every little thing you've done." I let my eyes rest on her face as I saw the love in her eyes. My heart swelled with the feelings I had for her. There was nothing I cared for so much in this world.

"Come on. We're going to be late." I walked to the car pulling her behind me.

"Bella?" I said as she ducked into the car.

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For... "

"Always." She replied, cutting me off. I smiled at her and got into the car.

"Are you excited?"

"I'm actually nervous." I looked at her quizzicaly. She just laughed.

"It's stupid, I know that, but I'm worried about how many flowers I'm going to get." She said.

I laughed. "Are you afraid you won't get any?" I teased.

"Actually....I'm afraid I will get flowers from somebody besides you." She said blushing. I leaned over and grazed my finger along her rosy cheeks; keeping one hand on the wheel.

"You worry to much." I whispered.

"I know." She blushed harder.

"However, Alice did inform me you would get some extra flowers." I said as I pulled the car into the school parking lot.

"From who?!" Bella asked. She was obviously mortified.

"Bella, love, why would I want to ruin the surprise?"

"Fine Edward." She said. I helped her out of the car and we began walking towards the school doors.

"You're not mad are you?" I asked.

"No Edward." She took my hand in hers. "I'll just throw the other flowers out."

_It's all taken care of._ _Just be in homeroom._

I looked up and caught Alice's eye as they got out of their car. I gave her a slight nod as I opened the door for Bella.

Let the games begin.


	9. Action

**I should be studying for finals, but since I'm not, here is another chapter!**

E POV

Bella and I continued down the hallway to our lockers. When we reached the lockers Alice and Jasper were waiting for us.

"Good morning Bella!" Alice chirped. She let her eyes roam over Bella's clothing.

"Alice don't." I said so fast that no human, not even Bella (who was used to hearing us talk at vampire speed) could hear me. Alice looked up.

_I won't. Though I do think she could spend a little more time working on her appearance. _She paused.

_And yes I know you don't care what she wears._ Alice thought, knowing what I was about to say.

"So are you guys excited for Spring fever day?" Bella said. Jasper, Alice, and I exchanged brief glances.

"You have no idea." Jasper said, "Everybody in this school is so excited. It's starting to rub off on me." He paused, "Am I sensing worry from you Bella?" He teased.

Bella shifted uncomfortably. I placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"Bella is afraid of getting flowers from other people." I said.

Jasper and Alice laughed.

"Thanks Edward." Bella seethed. I pulled her lips up to mine and kissed her.

"Forgive me?" I asked her quietly.

"Yes." She sighed.

"Come on Bella! Lets go to homeroom. I can't wait to see how many flowers people get." Alice said as she pulled Bella towards homeroom. Jasper shrugged and followed after the girls.

"Jasper." I said grabbing his arm.

_Yes? _He said turning.

"Lets go find Emmet." I smirked. Jasper nodded enthusiastically. We turned and headed down the hall towards Emmet's locker. Not that he ever used it. We had all of the information in our heads. Emmet liked the idea of hanging around his locker before class. He liked to see the guys walk by wishing they could have Rosalie at their sides.

Sure enough when we turned the corner he was there with Rosalie leaning against the lockers.

_Edward, can't you give me five minutes with Rosalie before she kills me!_ Emmet thought. He glared at me from his place next to Rosalie.

_Edward. What are you doing so far away from Bella?_ Rosalie said to me in her thoughts. Her tone was enough to drive me crazy.

"Emmet, Rosalie. Care to join us? We are heading to homeroom. You wouldn't want to miss anything would you Rose?" Jasper said from my side.

I felt him send a feeling of arrogance towards Rosalie. We needed them in homeroom on time and usually they stayed in the hallway to make out instead.

"Lets go Emmet. I want everybody to see me beat my record from last year." Rosalie said as she detached herself from Emmet.

_It worked. _ Jasper thought.

"So how many did you get last year Rosalie? 20? Not counting Emmet of course." I pushed.

"For your information Edward, I got 200."

_Wow. She is going to be so mad this year. _Jasper thought.

I opened the door to our homeroom and let my sibling go in before I followed them. We walked over to one of the front tables where Alice was seated with Bella.

"Miss me?" I said coming up behind Bella.

"Yes. Alice has been lecturing me on the importance of dressing nice."

"Alice." I growled.

"It's ok Edward. She is just being helpful." I would have yelled at Alice but Mr. Tomban (our homeroom teacher) entered the room.

"People settle down." Emmet laughed at his statement.

"I have a basket of flowers for each of you hopefully. When I call your name, as the rules order, I will read aloud the amount of flowers you've gotten. Then you may come up and receive you basket."

"Could he sound anymore bored?" Emmet whispered.

_Here we go._ Alice winked at me.

We watched as our classmates got up and retrieved their flowers. Some received many while others only received a few from their friends.

It wasn't long before Alice was called.

"Alice Cullen. You have 140 flowers." Mr. Tomban choked out. He was just as surprised as all of the other students. However, none of us were the least bit surprised. We all knew that 100 of them were from Jasper.

As Alice skipped back to her seat, I let out a laugh when I realized that besides the red flowers, many of the other flowers were purple 'your weird flowers'.

"People just don't seem to understand my bubbly personality." Alice sighed. She leaned over and kissed Jasper. "Thanks for the flowers."

More names were called before we heard a name we were interested in.

"Lauren Mallory." Mr. Tomban called. "Lauren you have received 14 flowers."

Lauren got up smiling and retrieved her flowers.

"How sad." Rosalie mocked as Lauren walked past.

A few more people were called and then Mike was called.

"Mike Newton you have received 7 flowers." As he walked past Emmet let out a loud laugh. Five hands slapped him on the arm.

"Sorry, but Mike has a yellow flower." He said. We all let out a few giggles

"Edward Cullen. You have...wow. You have 200 flowers." Even I was a bit surprised. I knew most of them were from Bella, but I had gotten many yellow 'you're hot' flowers along with a lot of red flowers. When I sat back down Bella took the basket from my hands. She pulled out 95 flowers leaving 100 red flowers and 5 yellow flowers in the basket.

"Those ones are mine." She said handing me back the basket. She threw the rest in the trash.

"They are the only ones I want." I whispered into her ear before giving her a kiss.

"Emmet Cullen. You have 120 flowers."

Emmet stood up and yelled, "What! How did these two beat me!" But when he got his basket he calmed down when he found many of the flowers were 'You scare me' flowers. The rest were a variation from Rosalie.

"Thanks baby." Emmet said to Rosalie.

"Jasper Hale. You have 201 flowers." We all laughed. It was just like Alice to make sure Jasper had one more flower than me.

"

_Next is...Rosalie Hale. Oh wow._ Mr. Tomban thought.

_This is it._ Alice thought.

"Rosalie Hale. Y-you have zero flowers."


	10. Sorry, Interuption

**Hey everybody.**

**I was wondering if you guys could answer some questions for me in reviews.**

**1. Am I getting to off track? **

**2. Should I spend my time getting to the proposal? Or should I just get to it?**

**3. This is my first fan-fic so I guess I just need some tips.**

**All reviews are appreciated! They help me a lot!**

**Thanks for reading this. Enjoy your day/night.**


	11. Rosalie's reaction

E POV

The room went deathly silent. I could here everybody's astonishment in their thoughts.

When I looked at Jasper he had his lips pressed in a hard line.

_Should I fuel her anger or calm her down? _I shook my head slightly at Jasper. He ran his hand through his hair.

_She is jumping around from emotion to emotion. I don't know how much longer I can take this._ I nodded. Alice was also having trouble with the situation.

_She can't decide what to do. It's giving me a headache._ She gently pressed her fingers to her temples.

_Damnit Edward! What have you done! _Emmet roared at me.

I looked around me. Jasper sat still trying to fight the urge to calm Rosalie down. Alice sat with her head between her hands while Emmet glared at me across the table. I slowly turned my gaze on Bella. Her face was an expression of shock and worry. It didn't take her long to compose her features. She turned her face towards me, questioning me with her eyes. I wanted to tell her what was going on but anything I said Rosalie would hear. I shook my head softly and Bella looked back to Rosalie.

Rosalie was hovering over her chair. She hadn't yet completely stood up. I tried to get a read on her thoughts, but she was jumping around to much.

I glanced around the room and saw that the other students were starting to shift uncomfortably.

_Oh shit._ Alice swore. I whipped my head around to face her. She had her hands pressed tightly around her head. Her vision flooded my mind only seconds before it took place.

Across the room Lauren spoke up.

"How sad." She said loud enough that she was sure Rosalie would hear. She could've whispered it and Rosalie would still hear.

_Oh...Rosalie is good. _Alice thought. I didn't look to see what she had seen because I knew it would take place in a moment.

A smug smile flickered across Rosalie's face. She sat back down and twirled a piece of hair between her fingers.

"That's ok Mr. Tomban. These flowers are just a way for people to boost their confidence. I don't need anything like that. It's kind of sad that some people do." She purred.

I heard Bella gasp beside me. I ran my hand threw my hair. You had to give her credit, she knew how to make herself look good.

_Oh man. The other girls are so mad._ Jasper thought.

"Thanks for the warning." Rosalie hissed at Alice. That's when we knew we were safe. Rosalie had no idea we had done this. I knew Emmet wouldn't say anything because if he did Rosalie would be mad he hadn't told her.

"Well umm...lets continue." Mr. Tomban said. You could feel the tension in the air. I looked to Jasper who now had his head in his hands.

_I'll be fine. _He thought when he noticed I was watching him.

"Bella Swan." Mr. Tomban said. Bella froze next to me. I gently patted her on the back.

"Bella you have 120 flowers." Bella staggered to her feet to get her basket. She blushed as she heard the other students whispering among themselves. She slowly walked up to Mr. Tomban as she concentrated on not falling. When she came back to our table I took the basket from her hands and placed it on the table. I pulled her into my lap as she tried to sit in her seat.

"You look so beautiful when you blush." I whispered in her ear. She lay her head on my shoulders.

"I hate this day." She muttered.


	12. My mistake interuption

**Hey guys. I am so sorry. I made a mistake. **

**I just re-read New Moon and I realized Edward proposed to Bella at the end of it. Bella also told him she wanted him to change her.**

**When I wrote this, I was thinking that both of those things happen in Eclipse. I rarely re-read New Moon because it is my least favorite. I apologize for my mistake.**

**So the question is, what should I do?**

**I have a couple options.**

**1. Continue to right this story in the direction I was heading in. I'll just write it ignoring the end of New Moon. It will not be very accurate to the story because I wasn't planning on writing about Victoria or Jacob at all. It would just be how I envisioned Edward would propose.**

**2. I re-write this story. I would basically write it to take place pre-Eclipse but after New Moon. It would kind of be a chapter zero for Eclipse. I would try and write it so it would fit right between the two books. I would end it leading into Eclipse. If I do this it won't be like my current story. It won't include the proposal. It will be Edward's thoughts about marriage and him trying to reason with Bella. **

**3. Very similar to option 2. However, I won't write it so it can make sense with Eclipse. There will be a proposal. It will be Edward trying to reason with Bella. I may or may not include Victoria and the werewolves. It will be similar to my current story because I will use some of the existing chapters. However I will stay true to the end of New Moon.**

**4. I could discard the whole story and do a different one. Maybe Eclipse from Edwards pov? Or something else.**

**I hope these options make sense. Please leave a review letting me know if you have another option. Otherwise, I'll put a poll up and you can vote on which option. Or post your vote in a review.**

**I'm very sorry this happen. **


	13. Jasper

**So I decided to continue. This is simply how I thought Edward should propose. There is no Victoria and so far their is no Jacob. I mean they are there, I'm just not dealing with them. Hope you continue to enjoy it.**

E POV

Homeroom was over quickly. By the end of it, everybody was cooled off; besides Lauren. Jasper tried to calm her but every time she saw Rosalie's smug expression she got mad again.

"I give up." Jasper said. He was obviously exasperated. "Teenage girls are a pain. No offense Bella." Jasper looked down at Bella as we walked to class. He had one arm draped gently over Alice's shoulders. Lauren was walking with her friends behind us.

"None taken. It's not like I'm a normal teenage girl." Bella replied. She peered up at Jasper from under my arm. I lowered my head until my lips brushed against her soft hair.

"Your to special to be normal." I purred into her ear. I could hear her heart rate pick up speed. Her cheeks got red and she quickly looked away from Jasper. She was obviously embarrassed since all of us could hear her heart speed up.

Jasper chuckled softly beside her.

"Hey Bella, why don't I walk you to class? Mine is just down the hall from yours. We'll leave these silly boys to themselves." Alice chimed. Bella nodded her head vigorously and pulled herself out of my grasp.

"Bellaaa." I whined.

"That's what you get for embarrassing me in front of your family. I'll see you in English." She called behind her shoulder. I walked up behind her, easily catching up.

"Don't I get a goodbye?" I asked innocently. She turned to give me a quick kiss. Her lips moving with mine like magic.

"Bye. " She whispered before turning back to Alice.

_Smooth._ Jasper thought as he stopped next to me. We watched as the loves of our lives walked to their classes.

"Shut up." I muttered. "Bella just gets embarrassed so easily." We started to walk again heading towards our classes.

It felt odd not having Bella at my side. It was weird how much I suddenly missed her. I hurt not having her in my arms.

I sighed. Jasper raised an eyebrow at me.

"How are my emotions?" I teased.

_You miss her._ He said. It wasn't a question. He could feel everything I felt.

"Yes. Is it like that for you? With Alice I mean." He looked down for a moment, watching his feet slide along the linoleum floor.

"Yes. It's a bit different though. It's hard to explain, or understand for that matter." He joked. "It's like I'm empty almost. Like part of my mind is gone. We might not be as exuberant as Rosalie and Emmet...but I feel less sure without her. When I look into her eyes I see my other half." He smiled. "That makes me sound so needy."

"Do you feel that now?" I asked. I could hear his thoughts, but at the moment they weren't showing me much. He was just thinking about our conversation.

"Not really. I guess I'm used to it. It's when I have to be without her for more than a day."

I nodded. I understood what he meant.

_It's different for you though. I see the way you watch her. You watch her every movement. And the way you two look at each other. Your relationship might be different, but what you feel isn't complicated at all._

"I forgot how observant you are." I chuckled. He was right though. It might be confusing to deal with the human and vampire aspect, but I never doubted our love.

"I just wander if she feels as deeply for me as I do for her." I was quiet for a minute. "Jasper, do you think Bella would marry me?" The question caught him off guard. His thoughts were incoherent for a moment.

_Edward, there is no question that she loves you as much as you love her. She wants to be with you in every definition of forever. Marriage though.... this is a different time Edward._

"Carlisle mentioned it."

_Why?_

I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to Jasper about this. I myself was still confused as to why he mentioned it.

"He said it was a human experience for her to have."

_Oh. I'm honestly not sure._

"Don't worry. I'll figure it out." We had reached his class. Students were busy taking there seats.

_Why don't we continue this later?_

I nodded. I hadn't meant To ask Jasper about marriage. The more I thought about it though, the more it made sense.

Maybe that was the right thing to do. Maybe even the human thing to do. Many people married before sex. So wouldn't it make sense for me to marry Bella before I did something far greater than sex? If my heart wasn't frozen, I knew it would be beating rapidly. Bella would be my wife someday, and that day was coming closer.


	14. Interuption

**Hey guys. I'm sorry it is taking me so long to put up the next chapter. I was sick for two weeks and I have a lot of catching up to do in school. I'm also taking my time with the next few chapters because I want to make the proposal and all of the stuff leading up to it just as I imagined. So just be patient and I'll put up the next chapter soon.**

**Thanks.**

**Also, I've reached my limit of 15 uploads and I'm not sure what it means by "You have reached the 15 document limit. Please convert you existing documents to stories and/or chapters before uploading more." What do I do? If you could pm me or leave the answer in a review I would be sooo happy.**


	15. Confronted by Alice

**Thought I would throw this in, though it is so obvious.**

**I don't own Twilight or any of these characters. I do own my ideas though.**

**------------**

**Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. I was sick for two weeks and I have finally caught up in school.**

E POV

_Ug. Could this class be any more boring?_

I didn't take the time to think about whose thoughts I was listening to. They were right though. I hated this class. I hated being apart from Bella. One might think that the time would help me piece together my thoughts about Bella. But as a vampire I was always thinking about it. Now every aspect of my mind was focused on the thought of her and it only made my quiet heart ache more.

I knew what I wanted now, and I was slowly piecing together how to go about getting it. I wanted to marry Bella but I knew there was no way she would agree. This was a different time as Jasper had said. Bella would be too embarrassed to be engaged at such a young age. I knew what she would say. She would say that being together forever was much more binding, that she was already mine, and that it was a bad idea. So what could I do? How could I make her understand? I guess I could try to explain it, but would she listen? I scolded myself internally. Of course she would listen, but Bella was stubborn and it would be hard to change her mind. What if.... what about a compromise?

"I'll see you tomorrow class." With that I was dismissed and it took all my control to leave the room at human speed.

_Marriage huh?_

Alice was leaning against the wall waiting for me. I didn't break my pace as she made her way though the swarm of kids.. I watched as she practically danced to my side. While it took a normal person at least a minute or two to get through a crowded hallway, it took Alice seconds.

"That didn't look very human," I teased.

_You're changing the subject. Besides, I don't want any of those filthy teenagers touching my new shirt._

I laughed out loud, causing many people to stare. Alice just smiled at how weird I looked. To the other people in the hallway I looked like I had just randomly burst into laughter.

_All joking aside, would you like to fill me in?_

"I want to marry Bella. I want her to be mine in every way. I'll feel so much more...human, if I get married," I said at vampire speed. She eyed me suspiciously.

"You know Edward, it's going to be hard to get her to say yes."

"You can't see her decision?"

She flipped her hair over her shoulder as she side stepped a student.

_Bella hasn't thought about marriage in any decision making way. My vision was of you and Jasper talking._

"So you didn't see me ask?"

"No, but it seems that you have already decided." She pulled open the cafeteria door and we joined the long lunch line. It wasn't long before the rest of my family joined us.

_I hate this stupid facade. As if I would eat any of this disgusting food._ I smirked at Rosalie but she just ignored me. I had to agree though, this all looked disgusting. I grabbed a brownie for Bella. My eyebrows rose when I saw Emmet's tray.

"Two slices of pizza, a salad, an apple... and what on earth is that?" I pointed to a small bowl of brown liquid on his tray.

"It's supposed to be soup but the cook burned it," Alice said. We finally paid and made our way over to our table.

"Where's Bella?" I asked Alice. She closed her eyes for a moment and I saw her vision in her mind. Bella was walking down the hall when she bumped into another student and sent his papers everywhere.

_She'll be here in a minute._

I was suddenly nervous. If I were human I knew my palms would be sweating. How was I going to act normal around Bella when all I could think about was marriage?


	16. Lunch

**Hey... don't be mad...I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I just haven't had much inspiration. Sorry!**

**-------**

As Bella made her way over to our table Alice started to annoy me.

_Dum dum de dum...Dum dum de dum_

I sent her a glare over my shoulder before handing Bella my brownie.

"Are you trying to fatten me up?" She smirked but took the brownie anyway.

"Very funny Bella." I said distractedly. Emmet's booming laugh filled the cafeteria. The comment was highly frustrating though, because of my current thoughts about turning Bella. She examined me and I knew she could see something in my eyes. She mouthed the words "are you ok?" to me. I nodded curtly and patted the spot next to me on the red bench I was sitting on.

"How were your morning classes Bella?" I asked. She studied me with her doe brown eyes before she answered.

"My classes were good. I just wish that Mr....." It was unlike me, but I began to zone out. I watched Bella talked animatedly to Jasper about something or other. Her face was so beautiful when it was flushed.

_Edward!_

I looked up startled.

"What do you think?" Bella asked, turning to face me.

_Mr. Henry's lecture on the importance of multiplication._ Alice informed me.

"I think he has a point. It's good to hear that a teacher is interested in making sure the students know why the subject is important." I tucked a strand strand of Bella's hair behind her ear. Lunch continued in the same manner. Alice got my attention when it was needed, but other than that it was spent watching Bella. She interacted with my family so well and I knew that she truly belonged with us. I was definitely finding more reasons why I should change her.

The school day continued on in a repetitive manner, after all, I had already completed high school numerous times. Eventually it was time for English class, and I knew Bella would want to question me.

When I entered the poorly lit room, she was already seated in the back corner. I gave her a quick smile that I knew she loved. She simply shoved a note into my hand.

Edward, what was with you at lunch? Is or was something wrong?

I sighed, she got right to the point. I put my binders down and waited for our teacher to begin her lessons before I responded.

_Bella, nothing is wrong. Please don't worry. I'm grateful that you notice such small changes in my behavior, but there is nothing you need to stress about._

She accepted the paper eagerly, but she frowned at my words.

Are you sure? Did I do something? I was shaking my head before she even finished. She scribbled out her writing and wrote again.

Do you promise? I pursed my lips slightly. Finally I nodded. This did involve her but she wasn't supposed to worry about it let alone even know.

I leaned over and stroked her cheek when I was sure the teacher wasn't looking.

"Please don't worry," I whispered. Because after all the one who is proposing is the one who worried.


	17. The proposal

**I know you all hate me right now for abandoning this story for so long. The problem was that I ran out of ideas. In the beginning all I wanted to do was show you guys my view on how Edward should have proposed, just one little scene. SO that's what I am going to do. The following writing is how I think the proposal should have occurred, plain and simple.**

Edward's POV

"Where are we going?" she asked for the fifth time.

"It's a surprise remember?" I whispered. Bella and I were in the middle of the forest and she was blindfolded. I watched as her lips turned into an adorable scowl. I pulled her into my arms, bridal style, and she yelped in surprised.

"Do you trust me?" I asked.

She sighed in defeat, "of course I trust you." With that I took off running. She nuzzled her head into my chest and I pulled her closer to me as I ran. Her heartbeat picked up which in turn intensified her scent. I ignored the burning in my throat.

Finally I came to a stop and placed her gently down on the ground. I untied the blindfold.

She gazed around, her eyes adjusting to the darkness with the help of the full moon.

"Edward, you could have told me you were taking me to our meadow. It isn't that big of a….," but then she trailed off as her eyes adjusted even further. I heard her gasp. I was filled with joy as her face radiate her happiness.

"It's beautiful Edward." I tore my gaze away from her to make sure everything was as I had left it. Small candles were placed around the clearing encircling a blanket on the ground. White rose petals were scattered around the blanket as well and Clair de Lune was playing softly in the background.

"It's not as beautiful as you my dear," I said. I took her hand in mine and gazed at her lovingly. The moonlight was lighting up her face so her eyes were sparkling before mine. She blushed slightly as I grazed my hand along her cheek. I pulled her slowly towards the blanket and when we reached it I sat her down softly.

As we sat I continued to watch her. I had been so nervous before, but now that she sat before me I knew that what I was about to do would be the most natural thing I would ever have to do. I took her hands into mine and she gazed at me, her eyes questioning.

"Bella, the day I met you I knew you were going to change my life forever. I knew that I would never be able to go back to my false interpretation of happiness." Her blush from before returned as I continued.

"It didn't take me long to realize that I didn't want my life to go back to the way it was. The minute I realized that I could control my thirst around you, in that second I knew that I would never leave your side. Of course I then made the mistake of thinking I should leave you, but I won't go into that." By this point Bella had tears in her eyes.

"You were so much stronger than me then, and you are so much stronger than me now. You risk everything to be with me, while I risk nothing but your safety. You trust me with your life time and time again and I love you for that."

"Bella I love how human you make me feel. I love how you make me laugh just by being yourself. I love how unselfish you are and I love how often you blushed. And I love how well you fit in with my family. But most of all, I love you because you love me despite of the monster I am." She started to protest but I quickly put my hand to her mouth.

"Bella, you make me feel like there is a chance for us out there. You make me think that maybe there is a heaven for us."

"Us?" She whispered.

I smiled. Then I shifted so I was on one knee and Bella gasped before me.

"Yes, Bella, us. I want to make you a vampire Bella because you belong with me forever. I never want us to be parted again no matter how long we exist for. I want to make you a vampire Bella, and I want you to be my wife." With that I pulled out my mother's wedding ring that had been residing in my pocket.

"Bella will you be my wife?" I whispered. It didn't take her long before she was nodding repeatedly, tears streaming down her face.

"Yes. Yes a million times!" She said. I pulled her into my embrace and slipped the ring onto her finger.

"Forever," I whispered.

" Forever." She replied.


End file.
